It's a good idea to arrange a first date of approximately three hours, followed by second and third dates that last between three-to-five hours.
There isn't enough of a foundation between new dating partners for them to be comfortable with each other for longer periods of time.
In previous columns you've mentioned the idea of giving one another space during the dating process. Hank With relatively inexpensive air fares and even cheaper long-distance telephone rates (not to mention the blessings of e-mail), it is now easier than ever to negotiate a long distance courtship.
You recommend one date for 2 or 3 hours and then not another one for several days, and I've followed that advice. However, anyone considering long-distance dating should be aware of the inherent problems in dating a G. ("geographic undesirable") and how to avoid those problems.
Our advice isn't much different for couples that have already begun a long-distance courtship and are seeing each other for the second, third, or fourth long weekend.
If they are in the same locale for five to seven days, they still need some breathing room, even if they want to see each other daily.
While e-mails and phone calls are not a substitute for actual dates, they are a good way to enhance what has been started in person.
Although people who date over long distances may take a little longer than conventional daters to reach the point at which they decide to marry, it isn't a good idea to artificially extend the length of the courtship simply because the man and woman haven't had so many face-to-face meetings.
The first is that each of them is dating for the purpose of marriage, and the reason they are dating each other is to see if they will be able to develop a relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage.
The next point to clarify is that one of the parties (and it doesn't matter which one) is willing to relocate if the two of them decide to marry. You've coordinated your schedules, purchased the airline ticket, and arranged for accommodations once you arrive in your date's home city. Plan to intersperse dates with activities you will do on your own.
It seems impractical to sit around a foreign place and wait a few days in-between dates!
Before two people even consider beginning a long-distance courtship, we recommend that they clarify two points.
We recommend taking one or two days "off" during that period of time.